It’s early morn on Christmas EveIt’s dark outsideThe wind is howlingInside I find calm and warmthThe love of my Jesus prepared to receive I sit and admire our Christmas treeAll adorned with love for youThe memories it holdsEach ornament a story does tellOf you and all friends and family In the glow of the tree, …
Poem – 9 Years – 2023
A Snowy Year Nine It’s 5AM as I head downstairs for coffeeIt’s quiet, still, I look inside meIt’s dark except for the Christmas tree glowI sit and sip my cup, the thoughts begin to flow I look up and see your faceI wonder where your hearts at in that placeI ask myself why it’s hard …
Happy Birthday Brian
April 12: Brian would have been 31 today. We had a good day celebrating him, the whole family came. We did the things he loved to do and had fun doing them. We went to his favorite Indian restaurant. The grand-kids had mango lasses which Brian loved. I could never develop a taste for them …
Poem – Eight Years – 24 Dec 2022
Eight Is great, so they sayThe year seemed long flying byAll I wanted was a chance to breathA moment to think, a moment to grieve Eight is great, I’m not so sureTime finite we all knowGrannyma joined you this yearAs did the son of friends dear I think a crazy eight is more nearWe laugh …
Forgiveness
It’s 0517 and I’m on the road heading into work. It’s dark, traffic is light and I’m enjoying the morning broadcast where Sheri Rose Shepherd is sharing part of her story. A powerful story of redemption. Part of the story reflects on the drug dealer that provided the LSD that nearly took her life. What …
Fading Reminders
In the past week two things happened which surprised me. One was we cut down a tree and the second was that my daughter had to put her oldest dog down. Each one different in response but common in effect. The Tree. It was a beautiful Blue Spruce that sat towards the front of the …
You can’t hide
I was surprised when I realized that it's been months since I posted. I reflected on perhaps why that was and I found that I was trying to run away, trying to hide. Hide from what? Death. For so much of my life I wasn't confronted by death. It clearly was one of life's absolutes …
Two Magnificent Bucks
I have previously posted about some of the wild animals that are in and around my neighborhood. I like to relate an experience I had just a few days ago. My neighborhood is full of mountain wildlife. I have always had a deep appreciation for these creatures and consider myself blessed when I get to …
Am I Worse than a Drug Dealer?
I read an article the other morning which included the following quote, "parents who enable drug-addicted offspring are worse than the drug dealers." It caused me to stop in mid-sentence and reflect. It stirred some raw emotions. Are parents who have an addicted child truly that complicit in the addiction that they are worse than drug …
Really miss you!
It's been a hard week. There are just some times when the hurt is there and I can't explain why. I feel it coming, and I can't stop it. Most times I can prepare myself for it but then others, there's just no way. It's like being at the beach when the surf's up (big …
Another Birthday – 29
Brian would have been 29 today. These days are always so difficult. As the seasons have passed we have all learned to cope. We find ways to find joy in the pain. It is conscientious, not automatic, it takes effort. We do it. I am continuously amazed at the strength of my wife and my …
Ritual Living
Well the Thanksgiving and Christmas season has now come to an end for the family. This has always been a very important time of the year for us and especially since Brian died. His favorite holiday was Thanksgiving. This year our season extended well into January as both my wife and I came down with …
New Sister Addition
Brian's big sister added a wonderful post on the Sisters page. Check it out.
Poem – I Wonder – 24 Dec 2020
2020 has been quiet the year So many confused, living in fear Loved ones locked down No visits, no playgrounds No parties, or gatherings, at what cost No celebrations, memories lost This year has been a complete waste The stolen time, truth displaced We lost our Pops and Grannypa Grieving hearts, emotions raw With treasured …
Mighty Buck!
Over the past month we have had a buck resting in our back yard. He comes and lays in the shade under the pines. He's beautiful, with a wonderful large rack. To watch him walk and jump the fence is majestic. It makes me feel good to watch him, to know he found a safe …
Missing You
I miss my Brian. I miss him so very much. It happens from time to time where I am consumed by thoughts of him. I never know when it's going to come on are what causes these moods. I think what's driving it is a want to talk with him about everything that's going on. …
Old Firsts
One of the things that was so hard as we moved forward was that for the first few years that there were so many firsts without. It's bitter sweet. You enjoy the flood of memories but, it hurts deep when you realize he's not there to celebrate with you. We've managed to balance those times …
My father-in-law is gone
It's been a rough week. My father-in-law died last weekend. It's sad. He died of Alzheimer's which is such a horrible disease. you have to watch your loved one deteriorate not just physically but, also mentally. Over the past few years we watched as Pops slowly started to forget names and long held memories. We …
Happy 28th Birthday
Yesterday was Brian's 28th birthday. We celebrated his birthday on Saturday. It was a gorgeous day. The sun was shining brightly and there was a gentle breeze, just perfect. As a family we shared memories and told stories. It was a wonderful, peaceful and a comforting couple of hours. Then on Sunday we were able …
Hugs
We weren't meant to be cooped up in our homes with minimal contact. With no one to talk with for days and no one to give you a hug. The last time we were with Brian he gave me a great big hug before he left. It was a really good hug, one that I …
Beautiful Blue Sky 
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