In the past week two things happened which surprised me. One was we cut down a tree and the second was that my daughter had to put her oldest dog down. Each one different in response but common in effect.
The Tree. It was a beautiful Blue Spruce that sat towards the front of the yard. It was about 30 feet high, full and about 20 feet wide at the base. It was our primary Christmas tree always filled with white lights from Thanksgiving till the middle of January. It gave a nice glow especially after a snow – it was gorgeous. the tree was special in more ways though. It was reminder, it always reminded me of the first winter in the house. We had a tremendous snow storm that year, three or four feet in two days. The kids led by Brian created a luge run that ran from our front porch down the yard, past the tree and into the cul-de-sac at the bottom of the hill. All in all it was about a 100 yards long, a really nice ride. The kids had a blast. At the bottom of the tree on the left side the limbs had been broken from them running into it. It created a reminder that has lasted 17 years. Now it’s gone, not the memory, just the reminder. The memory will remain but now I will have to be intentional, it won’t just be there randomly, giving me joy. I will miss that tree.
Crixus. Crixus was my daughter’s dog. He was a mix, was black and weighed about 120 lbs. He was a powerful dog – a warrior who was quite territorial. He lived with us for about three years and I was always comforted knowing that Crixus was protecting us. Brian had a wonderful relationship with him. He would wrestle with him and Crixus often would lay with his head in Brian’s lap. Again another reminder is gone.
I worry that the reminders will continue to go away. It’s scary. I don’t want them to. My memory sucks and will those also fade away as my reminders disappear? I pray not, I need them. They are all that is left of a life snuffed out too soon.
Beautiful Blue Sky 