Chasing Wasted Time

A man in my building died in the parking lot the other day. He was 53. A massive heart attack. He left behind a wife and a daughter. He loved them both very much, he was going to take his daughter fishing next week to teach her how. Life is so fragile, so fleeting. Were always in a hurry, always so busy. We spend so much time chasing things that just don’t matter. My weekends used to be consumed with football. As I think about those times I get angry. How could I have thrown away all those hours? While it can be fun it is just a game that contributes very little to advancing a healthy society. How many things in my life consumed my time and in the end they meant nothing?

What does matter? That is a difficult question because it is probably quite personal. For me it is God, family, friends and living by the Golden Rule. Those need to be the center of my efforts. With Brian’s death all those things have become more and more clear. Their importance are indisputable. One of the ways we have been living the Golden Rule is being able to share our journey with people that need confirmation that their pain, their distress and the fog that consumes us by death is real and it’s ok to feel all the things that comes along with that stress. People who suffer the lose of a child need support. They need to understand they are not alone and that they are allowed to feel excruciating pain.

The Lord called our Brian home. He chose us because He understood we would in turn be there for others. My wife is a savant when it comes to empathy. Her ability to listen and to say the right thing is beautiful and I love her for that. She is consistently led to help. Brian’s death sucks but, his death has caused me to focus more on the things that matter most to me. I am thankful for that. I’ve learned that chasing wasted time is fruitless. I love my Brian but, I so love my daughters and their families, I so love my wife and I have great friends.  Today I dedicate time to them – – it matters!