Everyday …….

It’s been a while since I last sat down and wrote a note. Time just goes by and before you know it it’s two months. I have wanted to write but, I seem to have an excuse each time.

It’s not that I don’t think about Brian because I think about him everyday. Everyday I wonder what he would think about what’s going on in the world or the upcoming World Cup. I think about what funny comment he would come up with as we observed some everyday event. Or I wonder what unique aspect of nature he would focus on. He always was able to find the beauty in the simplest of things. I so appreciated that aspect of his character. He took after his Mom in that respect.

I wonder everyday what I was supposed to learn from Brian’s death. What am I to do with this experience. Can I help someone else? Should I take on the man? and how do you do that? I wonder if we can ever overcome the evil that lead Brian down the path he struggled on. I wonder what type of person is ok with perpetuating evil. Are there people for whom there is absolutely no hope? Everyday I ask myself why should I care?  As I think through that I  realize that I’m asking the wrong question. It’s not why should I care but rather, why doesn’t everybody care? So, my goal is to see if I can get someone to care. More than someone, many ones! Perhaps if I can get enough someones to care we can actually make a change.

Brian I miss you everyday. Family, I love you everyday. Friends you’re special to me everyday.  Every day, you’re important to me and I will work hard not to waste you. I will remember Brian everyday and everyday I will work to plant the seed of caring.