Talking about death

Last weekend, on Saturday, we went to celebration of life for Eric, a man who was clearly loved by many. He lost his battle with cancer. At the celebration we talked with a young lady we had met once before. She was very close to Eric and it was clear that she was hurting deeply. As we talked she
confessed that when we had first met she wanted to share with us how sorry she was about Brian. I will confess that I am glad she didn’t say anything the first time we met. The reason is that on this day her words were so powerful because they came from a place deep in her soul. They were rich with compassion and remorse and while simple they were or so beautiful. In her grief she knew, she could somewhat understand. I do so appreciate moments like these and appreciate the courage she acted on.

One thing that I think many struggle is talking about death. This also translates into talking about the death of a loved one. The young women we were talking with kept insisting that things had gotten awkward because she had brought up Brian’s death. While I know that for some it truly is awkward
and not something they want to discuss. My wife and I don’t find that. We love talking about Brian and if in some way it will help we talk about his death.

I find it interesting that people don’t want to talk about death in a personal way. It is one of life’s indisputable absolutes. Talk of death causes significant introspection and not something you can lie to yourself about. Brian and I occasionally talked about death. What happens when we
die? Where do we go? Will we ever see each other again? These are just some of the things we discussed. Brian enjoyed real talk, real things, because life is real and he believed that life deserved serious thought and discussion. Just like Brian enjoyed talking so do I. I so enjoy talking about my Brian. It does me, does us good to talk about him. Not only talking but even more soothing, listening to others who have such wonderful stories about the man we loved. His sisters, loved ones and friends – all their stories paint such a beautiful panorama of his life. Not sure why anyone
wouldn’t want that but then again I don’t know the individual pain of all those that lost someone so close.