This week has been sad. An 18 year old boy from our church, who was due to graduate from high-school this past Tuesday died in a car accident on Saturday. Then in the early hours Tuesday, a 23 year old Marine that I work with died in a car accident. Both these young men had so much life ahead of them. Today those dreams and potential adventures are no more. My heart just breaks for the families. I know they are suffering today with so many questions. So many what ifs and so many just one more time. I ask myself how can I help, how can I ease some of the pain. There is no one-size-fits-all because grief is so personal.
One of things I have learned in my grief journey is that life is fleeting and quite fragile. It has caused me to think much more about what I say and what I do. How I spend my time wanting not to waste a moment. All this is good. On the flip side I have found that I am far less tolerant of things I consider petty or uncivil. This might include reality TV or the many people that believe they are the center of the universe, as examples. Life is just too short to waste time indulging in gossip and celebrity worshiping. Also, I struggle like never before with people who lack civility. This includes so many things from how people drive, to how they interact in a social setting like a grocery store. Our society today is far less civil than it was 20 or 30 years ago. A change that isn’t for the better. My knew attitude is refreshing and unapologetic and it has helped me to understand the beauty of grieving. It has led me to this, the deep desire to be of use to a grieving parent.
So, while I may not know what these parents need I tell you that in the early months after our Brian died the things I appreciated most were the hugs, the gentle hearts, the listening souls and most of all the desire to know something about my son. Memories are comforting and being able to share them with someone who earnestly cares is healing. To all those that did that for me thank you. For all those that need that we are here.
Beautiful Blue Sky 